we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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