i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
