I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
