Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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