We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
