Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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