you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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