This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
