Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
please don't ironically join a cult
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