He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
