when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize