The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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