He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
