Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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