***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
