thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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