I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
