i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
