I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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