The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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