put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
