Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
operation harelip BJ is a go
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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