i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
