If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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