he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
