I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize