The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The air was thick with penises
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
