my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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