dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
