Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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