I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
