i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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