no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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