Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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