There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
