The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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