i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
