It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
