This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
