Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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