i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
