did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
