So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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