It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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