Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
