Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
