Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
