so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
