New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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