dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
