He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
