Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
