We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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