I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize