You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
