i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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