It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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