But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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