I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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