just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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