Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
