And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
