C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
