Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
