so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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